


Never Be the Same

by mrasaki



Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-27
Updated: 2011-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-15 23:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrasaki/pseuds/mrasaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For prompt: "Kirk/Sulu FIGHT CRIME ♥ Kirk is a terrible detective and Sulu isn't really inclined to keep him in line."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Be the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this [prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/st_respect/43804.html?thread=7915548#t7915548) by [bendtothesun](http://bendtothesun.livejournal.com) during the 2010 Ship Wars Prompt A Mod Day.
> 
> **This is an old(sorta) fic, am archiving.

They’ve only been partners for a month, but Sulu’s already come to a few conclusions about his partner. Most of the time, Sulu is sure Kirk is a certifiable genius. The rest of the time, he thinks he's just certifiable. Depending on the day, he feels the exact opposite.

Which is to say, he’s concluded that Jim Kirk is a confusing guy. To a homicide detective like himself whose job it is to figure out motives and solve cases, that's saying something.

Take today, for example. They're snapping on latex gloves, having a look-see at what Sulu's sure is a double homicide-suicide. A two-for-one. It's pretty straightforward; there's a big gun next to the guy's hand, the guy's head is pretty much vaporized, the girl is lying in the bedroom, still tangled up in the bedsheets with another guy. Pretty gruesome; pretty standard stuff.

But no, Kirk is grinning from ear to ear like there was a little something more in that morning cup of joe he puts way too much sugar in and he looks at Sulu and declares grandly, "Did you know I'm the reincarnation of Sherlock Holmes?"

Sadly, that isn't the weirdest thing Kirk's ever said to him, so Sulu just ignores him. He finds Kirk pretty amusing in general, but some days, it’s just a bit much.

"I deduce that you're ignoring me."

He can see Kirk fidgeting from the corner of his eye, because of all the things that make up the Kirk package, including ‘charming,’ ‘extraverted,’ and ‘really too pretty for his own good,’ Kirk loves attention. He _hates_ it when people ignore him. Which is why Sulu tries to ignore him all the time.

"So that makes you my Watson."

Too bad Sulu's absolutely horrible at it. "No offense, but can we get this done, please?" It's a warm day in LA, and the sickly-sweet smell of blood and brains is getting rank.

"So polite, Mister Sulu. I deduce it's your Asian upbringing."

"Oh my _god_ , did you just say that?"

"Also, since you missed a spot just under your jaw, and you got a pretty nasty cut on your cheek, I can tell you woke up late this morning and did a shit job at shaving. And you missed breakfast too, which is why you're crankier than a two year old on a sugar crash."

Sulu slaps his notebook closed. "Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character, Kirk. Weren't you an English major in college?"

Kirk just grins. "But I'm right."

The coroner comes into the room and hikes an eyebrow at them. "Are you done, ladies?"

"Bones!" Kirk shouts. McCoy looks like he's just bitten into a lemon. Sulu can totally sympathize. He'd barely kept Kirk from christening _him_ "Roo" or even "Hicky" under pain of death. He's a homicide detective; Kirk knows _he_ knows where to hide a body where it'll never be found. Unfortunately McCoy has less options -- and access to Kirk’s person-- so 'Bones' has stuck. The nickname's even been spreading through the precinct. Sulu grabs Kirk by the shoulder and pushes him out of the room before McCoy's spastically twitching eyebrow devolves into a fist in the face.

In the living room, Sulu strips off his gloves and rubs his temples. "Let's just finish this and get out of here, please? I have a headache."

Kirk abruptly gets businesslike, straightening up, grin fading, and actually looks like the brilliant detective that'd graduated at the top of his class and got his badge in less than three years on the force. "This was staged, Hikaru."

"What?"

"Come on, man. The bodies are a little too conveniently arranged, don't you think? The gun's in the wrong place to be just dropped. And the angles of the exit and entrance wounds--what?” He stops, hands paused where he was punctuating his points. “What're you looking like that for?"

"Ballistics hasn't even been here yet, Kirk. You can tell all that just by _looking_?" Kirk's grin returns, and as he opens his mouth, Sulu sighs, "Please, _please_ don't let 'Sherlock Holmes' come out of your mouth. I don’t think I can handle it."

Kirk pinches his cheek, then pats it gently. "If I'm wrong, I'll buy you a drink tonight. All right?"

“I don’t drink.”

“Sulu, if we’re going to be best buds, that’s going to change.” Kirk gives him a companionable shoulder-bump and heads back into the bedroom.


End file.
